Who knew?

Lyrics hold my heart in a headlock as my minds eye opens to that horrid time of life
you were my friend,
i wish i could still say that
you were there for me,
i wish i could say that
you were by my side.
ill never say that again.
I wont lie, as a friend i would still be happy in your life.
id be happier if i was your love.
i was promised forever,
and i believed it.
everyone else said 3 years from now youd be long gone.
but your words always found a way to shine through it all.
I remember i sat with you once, i remember i smiled with you once.
I remember i kissed you once.
Afraid of the out come,
and you smiled.
That day we sat on the side of this wretched building and talked about what if's, and dreams.
Things were wrong things were right.
You hugged me on my celebration.
You talked to me about how i was something i never thought i could be.
You talked.
I remember staring into your eyes at times, and thinking of everything that could ever become our future.
And then it was that time.
Good bye good bye
we"ll see each other soon, we have to.
"You were one of my best friends while i was here"
you said it.
Regardless of the past i believed you.
And look where i am now.
sitting here in the same old decreped building.
Morning your lack of attendance in my life.
And where are you
drinking
planning on children
smoking
diying.
Who knew?

School Yard Blues

Sleep is needed.
Computer screens glare.
IN my eye in my eye
im sick of this repitition
sick of these folks
granit i feel alone more than ever in this crowd
i feel alone
if something where sweet on his neck id lick it off but im not that kind of boy
id put my hands back in my pockets, im through.
But i guess i dont want you cuz you dont know what u want
and i guess i dont want you cuz you dont really want me
atleast not for the reasons u think u do
and not for the reasons i want u
and if u go, i wont fallow
cuz your already gone
and if you leave ill try not to scream cuz your already gone

Whiner Whiner Hearts Of Fire

today i feel.....great. not guna lie :)
usualy im really miserable, specialy at school.
but today every1 else is really miserable, so im not?
sure what ever i dont care lol, c what happened. is :

the pheonix group home attends my school. cool. what ev.
and i guess 1 of the guys ran or something idk, its dumb. c he was hookin up with my freind ashley.
and group home boys arnt supposed to be doing that, WROOOOOONG lol, its been happening forever so idk who cares.
point bieng. ppl are like rreally upset about the whole thing.
whiney fuckers.
ive been here for three years, WICH IS LIKE 4 EVER COMPARED TO ALL THE PPL THAT COME IN AND OUT OF HERE ON A DAILY BASIS!
and ive been sober for 28 months too (^_^ yay!)
and yet no one cares what i have to say anymore, ive become the cliche old guy in the back round thats always babbling, now dont gte me wrong. im sure im as right as i am wring sometimes, but 3! YEARS! i have to know something useful RIGHT!?
but no one really gives me the chance or time of day to listen, i have been REJECTED! haha, what ev, fuck em right?
so the real problem is, GET THE FUCK OVER IT! ok so someone left! ive been through that EVERY SINGLE YEAR IVE BEEN HERE! jesus fucking christ! ive been through TONS of friends and GROUPS OF FRIENDS! it hurts, get on! i wana drop kick some1! lol, idk its just annoying listening to all these ppl be emo and shit, dont get me wrong, i liked the kid alot too. he made me laugh and he made me happy but he was just another person that would leave me. and guess what...HE DID HOHOHO! suprise suprise! sucks to b him dude, he"ll get fucked over eventualy. who cares.